whatxsarahxsaid: (peace)
[personal profile] whatxsarahxsaid
Title: Awakening
Author: [livejournal.com profile] whatxsarahxsaid
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: Fluff, Drama, One-shot
Word Count: 2600
Disclaimer: One day, when I'm rich and famous, I will own Johnny & Associates. But until that day, I'm not affiliated with Johnny in any way. I only play with them, you don't sue.
Summary: In the dead of night, your mind stays restless despite exhaustion and your feet guide you to salvation.
Author notes: I've had this stuck in my head before my classes were over at the end of April, and just had time to sit down and write it. I don't know about you, but I hate it when my mind doesn't shut up. I wish I had Kame's solution, however. My life would then be complete. This was betaed by my sister, [livejournal.com profile] woyaoni. Comments are always appreciated (actually, my self-esteem appreciates it). Flames are not appreciated and will be reciprocated.


Rain lashed against the window rhythmically, water running down the glass and dripping off the ledge to the street below. Wind howled, bringing a small draft into the apartment, making the light blue curtains flutter in the darkness of the room and creating shadows upon the walls that brought monsters to life to children and the imaginative. It was the perfect night to crawl into bed and drift off to sleep with the droning sounds of the storm overhead, which was precisely what Kame had in mind when he stumbled through the door after a 14-hour day that included practice, a photoshoot, squabbles between bandmates, and an interview.

Kame sluggishly pulled off his rain-soaked tennis-shoes and threw his umbrella in the umbrella-stand his mother had bought him when he first moved out of home before he turned on the light of his apartment. He slipped his feet into his favorite pair of slippers, which were in serious need of being replaced but he didn’t have the heart to throw them out, and threw his bags into a corner of the living room, deciding to deal with them the next morning. Now, all he had in mind was a very quick, hot shower before crawling into bed for seven hours of sleep before he had to get up and start his routine all over again.

It was nearing one-thirty in the morning as Kame finally pulled back the blankets and collapsed on his bed. He had been waiting for this minute all day. It had been one of those days that never ended, everything that could go wrong went wrong, and Jin had been doing his very best to irritate him without doing anything. It was just a gift he possessed. Every time Kame had yelled at Jin, he would be given a half confused, half scared face and Jin would scuttle behind Ueda, asking him what he had done this time to be given another lecture about practice-room behavior. ‘This is work, not a playground’ was Kame’s favorite phrase these days. The practice room had become increasingly tense until it culminated into a heated fight between Kame and Jin, which had left them both not speaking with one another, or rather, Kame not speaking with Jin and Jin leaving him alone until he was in a better mood.

With all of this leaving him emotionally drained, Kame had decided he would be able to fall asleep effortlessly before his head even hit the pillow. But his head hit the pillow, and no sleep came. He sighed slightly and settled his hands on his stomach, listening to the rain and hoping it would lull him to sleep.

Several minutes, but having passed feeling like hours, of lying there, he shifted around and around in bed, unable to find a comfortable position and managed to get his legs tangled around in the bedsheets. Letting out a furious sigh, he extricated his legs and shoved the sheets off the bed and curled into a ball, clinging to a pillow and screwing his eyes shut. He let his body relax and allowed his mind to clear. When he was on the edge of falling asleep, a crack of lightening woke him to full wakefulness. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was just after two. Kame groaned and flopped on his back, shivering with the cool air that had seeped through the windows. He leaned down and drew the sheets back across his body and fell back into the pillows.

The pounding of the rain was like little hammers pounding away at his sanity as he tried to fall asleep. He turned on his side, drawing his knees to his chest as he stared at the wall on the other side of the room, letting his mind wander. His mind went over choreography for their concert, what he would wear to practice tomorrow, what he had to do tomorrow, and then it landed on Jin. Things had been very tense around them for the past couple of years, and he knew it was partially his fault for having taken over as the unofficial leader of KAT-TUN and with that had come a lot more responsibility and no room to goof-off like the rest of the members were able to do. He missed the closeness he once had with Jin, and how easy it was to joke around with him without having to worry too much about the consequences, unlike now. Everyday he saw Jin, he was reminded of how jealous he was at the way they were allowed to be free with their actions and they still managed to get all of their work done. But Kame had to work to make everything perfect.

Today had been no different, but the jealousy had finally snapped, and he had gone on the defensive and thrown all the wrong onto Jin. As soon as he began fighting with Jin, and Jin threw back as well as he received, he could see the hurt was swimming in his eyes as Maru and Koki tried breaking them up. Jin left him alone afterwards, avoiding his eyes whenever Kame would glance over at him. But he knew Jin was hurting from their lack of friendship as much as he was.

Drawing a pillow over his face, he let the guilt of tearing apart their friendship overcome him. He listened to the muffled rain and wind, feeling his stomach twist in loneliness and pain. He berated himself for being this weak and then berated himself for thinking he could not be weak when he knew full well he was allowed to be.

Quickly, he sat up in bed, an idea struck in his head. Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be the start of a new era. Kame would apologize to Jin, he would loosen up a little bit and have more fun, make the dynamics of KAT-TUN better by being more lively. Maybe they wouldn’t be as close as Kanjani8, or as nice and cute as NEWS, but they would get along better and possibly they would rebuild their friendships that they carried on before they debuted. He could still get work done and have fun, just like the rest of the guys did. As he came up with this plan, Kame felt the proverbial weight of the world lift off his shoulders and his body relaxed.

Excited about the prospect of tomorrow and the start of the new attitude on life, Kame closed his eyes and slowed his breathing to help ease him into sleep. But he was still unable to breach the line that crossed over to unconsciousness. His senses were more aware to his surroundings. The rain had seemingly gotten louder; a nagging was tugging at his subconscious that kept him from fully relaxing; his raspy breathing filled the room; the feel of the sheets were grating his skin with every breath and every turn; he could smell the remnants of his shower gel wafting from his bathroom; and even the way his pillow had warmed with his body heat was adding to increasing frustration of being unable to sleep.

Sitting up and swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, Kame got up and shuffled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water from the sink’s faucet, leaning against the countertop and staring out into the rain soaked street. It was turning into a light drizzle. Suddenly he felt extremely claustrophobic in his small apartment, alone and shut off from the world.

He quickly rinsed out his glass, grabbed his keys, wallet and put on his shoes. Locking the door behind him, he walked out into the silent night and stopped to let the mist coat his face and to breathe in the refreshing air. He felt silly standing out in the rain in an old t-shirt and pajamas bottoms, but for once he didn’t care about his appearance as he felt a lot better outside.

He glanced up at the apartment complexes around him, at the darkened windows and what lay behind them. In no particular direction, Kame began to walk around, peering at the sights around him that were only highlighted by the streetlamps. He took his time looking at the various shop windows, enjoying himself immensely at not having to scurry along the sidewalk with a hat over his face, hiding from fangirls and paparazzi. After half an hour of wandering around in the rain, for it had begun to pour again sometime during his wanderings, Kame sat down on a brick wall and decided he was probably ready to fall asleep after his walk. He glanced around him and noticed he was in Jin’s neighborhood.

He peered at the building he was sitting in front of and was shocked by finding himself facing Jin’s apartment. Counting the levels, he found Jin’s floor and found the windows that belonged to his home. The lights were all out, as any sane beings’ would be at three in the morning. Almost without any notion of his actions, he started to walk up to Jin’s apartment and before he realized, he was standing in front of his door, staring at the shiny number that screamed at him that this was a very inappropriate time to be making a house call.

Knocking on the door lightly, half hoping Jin wouldn’t hear it, Kame shivered as the air-conditioned hallway cooled his clothes, making them stick uncomfortably to his skin. He was just about to turn around and leave when he heard something bang heavily against the door, and scuffles as Jin tried to grab hold of the locks and doorknob in a stupor. Suddenly the door opened and revealed a disheveled looking Jin, clinging to the doorframe with one hand and the door with the other. If only everyone knew what Jin looked like as a real human being, Kame thought to himself. Jin’s hair was sticking up with extreme bed hair; creases were imprinted across the side of his face and arm from where he had been laying on his bed.

“Whazza matter?” Jin slurred, his voice thick with sleep as he peered at Kame.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he mumbled.

Jin let go of the doorframe and scratched his stomach, blinking at Kame slowly as he digested the words.

“And,” Kame continued, taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry,” he said, hoping Jin would understand the deeper meaning the words held.

Jin studied Kame, his forehead crinkled in thought. “Idiot.” He stepped backwards, opening the door wider as he motioned Kame to come inside.

“You’re all wet; did you know?”

“It’s raining and I didn’t bring my umbrella,” Kame said, pathetically, though he was loath to admit it when he got up the next morning.

“Idiot,” Jin said again.

“That’s what we usually call you.” Jin smiled at him and nodded.

“Come on, I’ll get you something to change into and we can go to sleep.”

“I’ve done everything,” Kame said, exasperatedly, as he followed him into the bedroom. “I even came up with a plan!”

“What plan?” said Jin, bending into the back of his closet.

“To change,” he mumbled.

Straightening up, Jin turned back to Kame. “Change what?”

Kame flushed. The only person who made him feel self-conscious was Jin. Something that added to his irritation towards Jin. He flailed his arms around in the space between them.

“You know. Change. Me.”

Jin had the good grace to look confused. “What’s wrong with you?”

Kame sat at the edge of the bed but stood up quickly when Jin whimpered and muttered something about getting the bed wet and dirty. “Everything. No one can stand to be around me anymore, and when they do, it’s like they’re walking on egg shells. I think I’m tired of always being the one to get everyone else on track and being the boss, and, and…” he trailed off, looking a bit lost. “I never have any fun any more. Not like you do. I hate that. I feel like I can never truly relax. I haven’t been able to sleep well, anymore,” he admitted, running a hand through his tangled hair.

Jin crossed his arms and leaned against his dresser. “There’s nothing wrong with you. We always follow you because you know what to do, and it’s always right. Though, you are so busy that you don’t notice that we all take charge in certain areas. We’d all be able to take on bits and pieces of jobs instead of you handling everything, and it would still get done. You could do to loosen up a bit, yes. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’re a little high strung.” Kame laughed at that, feeling a little better. “But there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to learn to lean on others.”

Jin smiled at him. “Okay? Don’t ever think you need to change because you think others want that of you. Change only if that’s what you want to make yourself feel better. But please, don’t ever stop bossing us around. I think KAT-TUN would fall apart completely if left to our own devices and you weren’t there to really guide us along,” he said laughing.

Smiling slightly, Kame nodded and thanked his feet for guiding him to Jin. “Thank you,” he whispered across to Jin.

“You’re welcome, I think. I’m not sure what I did, but you’re welcome,” Jin said, scratching his nose to cover his embarrassment.

“I missed this,” suddenly Kame said.

“Me too,” Jin grinned, a yawn breaking in half way. “Come on; let’s get you into dry clothes. I’m exhausted and you look like roadkill.

“That bad, huh?” he said, pulling off his clothes and putting on the offered ones Jin held out. He swam in the clothes, but they gave him a sense of security that allowed him to feel that things were going to be okay. They smelled like Jin, and he recognized the shirt as one of Jin’s favorites.

Jin collapsed onto his bed, sighing contentedly. “Still warm. I like it,” he laughed. Kame stood awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom, unsure of where to go. The problem was solved when Jin pulled down the sheets on the other side of the bed and got comfortable.

Walking slowly to the bed, Kame sat down and slid into the Jin-warmed sheets. Jin reached over and turned off the light as Kame settled into the warmth, letting it soak into his body which had remained chilled despite the dry clothes. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

It was silent in the room for a minute before Jin suddenly turned on his side and flung his leg over Kame’s legs and his arm over his chest and gripped him tightly as if to reassure himself Kame was real. Kame started slightly when Jin’s head rested by his neck and whispered, “Do you think you can sleep now?”

“Yes,” he whispered back, resting his chin on Jin’s head. “Yes, I think I can.”

“I missed you,” Jin said, drifting off to sleep.

“I missed you, too.” Kame placed his arms around him and snuggled into the warmth Jin’s sleep-warm body radiated. It was like sleeping with his very own personal electric blanket. His eyes, which had been burning with lack of sleep, closed heavily and he fell into a deep sleep with a smile on his face.

Outside, the rain continued to pour and wind continued to kick up dead leaves. But the occupants in the apartment remained asleep, soothed by one another’s company and the rhythmic drops of the rain on the window.

Date: 2008-06-16 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asmilewaiting.livejournal.com
Wow ^.^ I really like this a lot. Jin is such a sweetheart, knew just what to say to make Kame feel better ^^ And poor Kame, all stressed out. This fic feels so realistic ^_^ I love it.

Date: 2008-06-19 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you for reading! Jin knows Kame inside and out, so of course he's the one who would make him feel better <3 And I so know that's what happens in real life...*cough* haha.

Date: 2008-06-16 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azluv.livejournal.com
i love this platonic love between akakame :)
they remind me the times when they still juniors and often sleep together or sharing bed without awkwardness.

thank you for this great fic

Date: 2008-06-19 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading it. I bet if that happened while they were juniors, they would have some funny stories to tell.

Date: 2008-06-16 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] letitbegin.livejournal.com
I've been reading your fics for a long time now and so far this has been written better than anything you have done before. Your style has really grown and it feels like you're so much better at making your writing flow and sound natural. Your Akame is nice as Akame goes but you know I'm biased (ie. anti-Jin).

Date: 2008-06-19 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Do you really think so? You know your opinion means a lot to me. One day, I will overcome that barrier of yours and you will love Jin.

Date: 2008-06-17 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmatchgirl007.livejournal.com
alksfjd this is really really sweet and fluffy and sldkjfd. <333

Date: 2008-06-19 07:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Thank you! I love keyboard slams! <3

PS: I love your icon *.*

Date: 2008-06-19 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Oh my gosh. I'm on my laptop in a library and I'm SO glad no one is around on this floor because your icon now has me grinning like a lunatic.

Date: 2008-06-19 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmatchgirl007.livejournal.com
I do try. XDDD Liking my icons wll give you a tiny piece of my heart, you should realize. <333

Date: 2008-06-19 08:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Haha, that's the best thing someone's said to me all day ^_^ I've been meaning to watch that interview over. I saw it when he first went on there, but I was only JUST getting into Jin. =P <3 Collarbone fics

Date: 2008-06-19 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilmatchgirl007.livejournal.com
\:D/ God now I want to too aslkdf. *_* That was such win, I kept replaying that scene over and over and shrieking at him. *_*_*_* And it is like I am incapable of not putting references to his collarbones in like, any fic I write... D:

Date: 2008-06-20 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Ooh, I know. I watching that part so many times. It's so adorable, and so Jin. Any author who mentions his collarbones automatically go into my "Read more stuff by such and such" column. <33

Date: 2008-06-17 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] puffie-hanchan.livejournal.com
i really like it.it's sweet ^^

Date: 2008-06-19 07:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Thank you ^_^v

Date: 2008-06-17 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joechenglover.livejournal.com
i really like this.
i actually like realistic and emo-ish stuff better than fluff.
so this definitely hit the spot.

plus your language is amazing:

Outside, the rain continued to pour and wind continued to kick up dead leaves. But the occupants in the apartment remained asleep, soothed by one another’s company and the rhythmic drops of the rain on the window.

Date: 2008-06-19 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
You just made me happy. I always feel like my writing is very inadequate. I also like the more realistic things. Sometimes you need a little reality to relate to, I think. Thank you so much for reading =)

Date: 2008-06-17 03:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavenie-2619.livejournal.com
Sweet! Sweet! V(^o^) I love it (=

Date: 2008-06-19 07:16 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-06-17 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tsuki-3.livejournal.com
I like this alot :D
Its beautiful.

Date: 2008-06-19 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you so much =D

Date: 2008-06-17 12:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ajas874.livejournal.com
So beautiful n soothing. feels like this is really happening in Akakame's life..

Date: 2008-06-19 07:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
I hope this would really happen. I can totally see Kame running to Jin when they were younger. Thank you for reading =)

Date: 2008-06-17 01:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bellemainec.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this, it had a very nice style to it, great pacing and nice insight into their personalities. well done!

Date: 2008-06-19 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I was really worried how this would be received and your comment made me so happy ^_^

Date: 2008-06-17 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tomemiprozac.livejournal.com
aww that just made me warm all over!

Date: 2008-06-19 07:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Better than a cup of coffee ;) Thank you for reading =)

Date: 2008-06-17 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mustenentwined3.livejournal.com
Oh, this was beautiful. &hearts Just awesome. Your writing is truly a comfort to read, and I love it so much. This type of Akame seems so real, yet it still manages to make me feel all warm inside. Thanks for sharing and writing ^-^

Date: 2008-06-19 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for reading! It's totally real ;) *in her dreams*

Date: 2008-06-17 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
That was a really nice fic! The overall atmosphere seemed quite realistic ... especially the way you mentioned simple objects like the umbrella stand, the slippers or Jin's favorite t-shirt (oh, wouldn't we all so love to see Kame in that t-shirt in reality T_T).
Besides, I'm a sucker for rainy nights that result in comfortable cuddling inside! Thanks for ending with that nice image! ^_^

Date: 2008-06-19 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
I love those little details, so I have to include them whenever I write. It really adds a little bit more to the story, I find. And who doesn't love rainy night fics ;) Definitely one of my favorite types ^_^ Thank you for reading!!

Date: 2008-06-18 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bioneuron.livejournal.com
again again and again...
miss akame so so much....
jin is so sweet....
sleeping in jin's warmth...the best ever part in this fic...
nice fic...
omedetto....

Date: 2008-06-19 07:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Sleeping anywhere near Jin is always nice. Sleeping where Jin had already made it warm is the icing on the cake <3 Thank you for reading ^_^v

Date: 2008-06-20 11:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nao-akameluv.livejournal.com
jin is a sweet guy, ne?! kazu-chan is a lucky boy too. Love the story~~

Date: 2008-06-20 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
They are definitely both lucky to have one another, here. *nods* Thank you for reading ^_^v

Date: 2008-06-20 05:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] khyreena.livejournal.com
I really liked this text, this peaceful atmosphere, something really calm, despite the fear and the regrets.
I loved your long, unfinishing sentences, especially the way you describe the rain (*can't live without rain* ^^).
I don't usually read Akame, because it's too common, but you characterized them really good, and I'm really happy to have read it :)

Date: 2008-06-21 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] whatxsarahxsaid.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you so much for reading and commenting, especially since you usually don't read Akame! I was really aiming for a peaceful feeling, despite everything. I love rain, too ;) My sister thinks it's weird, along with everyone else. But I'd rather have a rainy day than a sunny one. Thank you for reading =D

Date: 2008-09-10 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kk-me.livejournal.com
i really like this one.. its much more realistic and the way you write is really impressive.. high quality fan-fic that im sure Kame and Jin themselves would approve of.. =P

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